We here at Nathan's MUSCLE Page do not condone the destruction of MUSCLEs. Not only is it barbaric and foolish to destroy nostalgic pieces of a person's childhood, but it is also somewhat unhealthy as burning plastic may cause health problems. Additionally fireworks are quite dangerous, so in other words kiddies, don't try this at home. Now that that's out of the way, let's have some fun!

My brother Alex called me prior to the Fourth and said he would like to relive a cherished childhood tradition: the destruction of MUSCLEs with fireworks! I had not intentionally destroyed a MUSCLE since my Test Muscle days, but I had a few MUSCLEs that were just ASKING for a firey demise, so I conceded.

These would be our victims, the next generation of Test Muscles! The Roman numerals were drawn on them with permanent marker to denote their relation: The guy on the left would be Test Muscle the 2nd, while the guy on the right would be Test Muscle the 3rd. They were chosen for the honor of Test Muscle based on their condition (neither were in mint condition) and, most importantly, their overall retarded appearance (especially in the case of II).

Before we started, we thought we would need some sort of container to focus the flames of the fireworks, so Alex quickly dremmelled off the top of a soda can.

Our first torture would be to put Jumping Jacks on II, and place the can on top so that II would be totally trapped with the flames.

Alex lit the fuse, placed the can over the figure, and put a roll of wire on the top to keep it in place. Let the fun begin! Smoke oozed out of the can. What would happen to our hapless victim?